Starting out

I am an American man, born in 1958 and living in France. My wife is much the same age. We are both middle-class. My work is writing and editing; she works in publishing, in a position of some responsibility.

After twenty-five years of happy marriage, my wife decided at the very end of 2008 to dominate me. She had long known of my interest in a dominant/submissive relationship and in corporal punishment, and gamely tried to enter into the game. However, I didn't know exactly what I wanted from her, she was uncomfortable and doing it only to satisfy me, and after a couple of awkward attempts I backed off. I felt embarassed for having tried to impose something on her that she wasn't ready for.

Later, I gave her a copy of a book entitled "The Sensual Art of the Dominant Woman." I never asked her if she'd read it; I figured all I could do was open doors. If she wanted to walk through them, she would.

Meanwhile, I had decided to be more and more submissive without bothering her about it. I was already the family cook. I started to do all the washing up as well. I became more prompt and thorough about anticipating her needs and doing all I could to make life easier for her. This is something that makes me happy.

This Christmas, she surprised me with a book called "Dominant Wives and Other Stories," a collection of vintage femdom comics. This was a message. Rapidly, we got into our dynamic. When we are alone, I call her Madame. I am subservient and she is authoritative. I run around doing things for her and serving her. When it isn't too impractical, I remain naked in her presence.

In bed, she had already been getting interested in bossing me around, specifically, in denying me orgasm. On a few occasions, she asked me to bring her to orgasm, then informed me that that was all for the night, rolled over and went to sleep. She knew this drove me wild with frustrated desire. Now she has given me a quota: I get one orgasm per week. She will allow me extras if I'm good or zero me out for the week if I misbehave. I find her severity extremely seductive and am in a state of chronic arousal, making me all the more sensitive to her sensual charms. In addition, now that I've accepted this, I'm getting into making love without orgasm as a payoff; I can concentrate solely on her. Touching, embracing, caressing, tenderness; very exciting, as ever. So I enjoy being excited and don't worry about ejaculating at the end of it all.

Finally, she had me purchase a large wooden bath brush to punish me with. This is probably the biggest hurdle for her and she hasn't done it yet. I feel certain that she will, though.

That's where we are now. I'll use this blog to keep track of intimate details and to address larger questions, too.