Orgasm by proxy?

I was looking forward to making Madame come last night. We went to bed and I started romantically stroking and caressing her by candelight. I gave her gentle, soft massage all over, punctuated with kisses and cuddles. I was wearing black string-style underwear, which I do to emphasize that my genitals are not in play. Madame was teasing me by idly fondling my balls through the string and by letting her fingers do the walking over my ass.

I was really looking forward to the next step, going to work on exciting her in earnest and bringing her to orgasm with whatever means she chose. Instead, she thanked me warmly for my massage and cuddling and said it was time to go to sleep. And so we did.

I was very disappointed. I had been imagining the sensations of settling my face down between her legs, breathing in her scent, feeling and tasting her with my mouth, then the delicious excitement of her orgasm. I realized that, without coming myself, I had nonetheless been using her orgasms as proxy release for myself! Her deciding not to come was a double denial--I couldn't come either for myself or in imaginative synch with her.