Pain

As one who has fantasized all his life about being spanked, and will, I believe, soon see those fantasies realized on a regular basis, I have been thinking a lot about pain.

I know spankings can hurt a little or a lot. There is a level of pain that is "too much." In my fantasies, that is the level of pain inflicted: too much. But in reality, too much is too much. When I am spanked, am I bound to be either disappointed or hurt more than I can stand?

There's a website, The Disciplinary Wives Club. One person writing there defines a "therapeutic" (as opposed to "play") spanking as one that "should hurt the husband's bottom enough to make him wish it would end sooner than it does." That is the aspect that, on the one hand, arouses me, the reality of punishment as something one does not like, and on the other hand, frightens me somewhat and risks bringing the spanking out of the realm of the erotic.

There's a complicated interplay here. My erotic fantasy is to be spanked for real, as punishment. Such a spanking would not be erotic, but would, I think, satisfy deeper erotic and psychological needs than just getting an erection and moaning in pleasure. And yet my erotic motivation is strong.

So far I have received no punishment spankings, only a few test taps with the brush. I am apprehensive and excited at the same time. What will it be like?