Teasing, teasing, teasing...

Madame mentioned recently that she really enjoys orgasm control, and especially teasing. Although she's had me on a one-per week quota since the beginning of the year, it wasn't clear to me if I was allowed to masturbate as long as I didn't come. So I asked her and she said, "Of course not!"

This is terrifically exciting to me--the thought that only she is allowed to handle my cock and balls. The exceptions, of course, are peeing and washing. Obviously I do those daily, but they are not erotic situations. Once upon a time--it seems like ages, but in fact up until about six weeks ago or so--I would masturbate once or twice a week, in between having sex with Madame, which was on average about twice a week, too. In fact, I had been masturbating regularly, like most men, since the onset of puberty. What is more familiar to a man than the feel of his own erect cock in his hand, the weight of his own balls in his palm, the feeling of genital pleasure brought to the climax, self-piloted?

Now I have relinquished this. Madame has claimed it for her own, and I submit.

Last night I lay back and spread my legs and Madame stroked and tickled my balls and perineum. She squeezed my balls softly, so softly. Her fingers went up along my belly, returned to my balls. Eventually she took the shaft of my penis between thumb and forefinger and gently tugged up and down. Then stopped and gently scratched my inner thigh.

I don't know how long this went on. I was in a sort of trance of tension and anticipation. If it had been me, I would have grabbed my cock firmly and pumped up and down until I ejaculated. She never did that. It was all gentle caresses and small, slow jerking motions... until she patted my belly and said, "Time for sleep now." I begged her to continue. "Discipline, Thomas," she said. She had denied me my one orgasm for this week due to misbehavior and indiscipline.

It occurred to me that there are elements of orgasm denial, like femdom in general, that evoke the passivity and helplessness of infancy. A baby gets all its physical pleasure from its primary caregiver, most often its mother. It hasn't discovered masturbation, it hasn't learned to identify pleasure and seek it out, except on an instinctive level such as seeking the breast for feeding. And there I was, lying there, receptive, waiting for pleasure from Madame and helpless (consensually) to get it for myself. It wouldn't have been too surprising if I had murmured "Goo goo gah gah..." In fact I wonder if that isn't how I sounded as I groaned quietly in my other-stimulated arousal.